Severe Strain of Senioritis Strikes Seniors

Phoebe Skalansky, Copy Editor

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A breakout of senioritis has ravaged the Class of 2018 with unprecedented and unparalleled fortitude this year. This vicious virus has caused scores of restrictions, several overdue May Project proposals, the daily absence of nearly half of the senior class in assembly, and the perpetual chorus of “I’ve gotta go move my car out of the fire lane!”

Senioritis, of course, is not a new phenomenon. Refrains of “I didn’t even bring my books home this weekend, lol,” have rung through the high school Commons since the dawn of time, or at least since the concept of a “college supplemental essay” came into existence. Symptoms can manifest themselves in underclassmen as well. As one sophomore remarks, “even I have Senioritis, and that’s a problem.” Just you wait, kid. You have binge-watching two entire seasons of The Office on a school night to look forward to.

The effects of this disease are perhaps most prevalent in the classroom. The other day in English IV, for instance, half of the class had not yet purchased Lolita from the bookstore. Mr. Pierson was rather disappointed, considering the proximity of the bookstore to his classroom (across the hall) and the fact that the first reading was due that day. Shade was, indeed, thrown. Ms. Dillard, as a mother of a senior herself, is quite familiar with the symptoms of Senioritis; she shares that one of her senior students “informed me that his backpack has not made the trip from his car into his house since his return from spring break.”

Senioritis stems from far more than pure laziness or weariness. As Olivia Benoit ‘18 reflects, “I think it’s the nature of being at a place for 5 years and being ready for a transition. However, I wouldn’t want to wish my five years away and I certainly don’t want to wish away my last two months.” In the coming weeks, seniors will experience Senior Assembly, May Project, their last Potpourri, and will finally be the ones dressed in white walking down Graduation Grove. These are milestones that most members of the Class of 2018 have been eagerly awaiting since they had 5th-period lunch, but it’s certainly bittersweet now that the time has come.

While seniors might be slacking on schoolwork, they’re still as committed to athletics as ever. Coach Jud Dieffenbach remarks, “I honestly don’t see [Senioritis] at this point. Probably because generally, people are choosing to be a part of athletics.” Even amongst spiraling GPAs and continuous refreshes of the Instagram Explore page, the Class of 2018 boasts an impressive dozen, twelve-season athletes.

Some seniors have chosen creative outlets to express their struggles. In the following poem, Shirsha Majumdar ‘18 and William Howlett ‘18 dexterously sum up what Senioritis truly feels like:

Through the endless halls I’ve wandered, I caught Senioritis.
Like pollen in Spring air, fatigue brought Senioritis.
Essays, homework, tests, and sports.
Under this mountain, I must confess I sought Senioritis.
Plane tickets, concert tickets, game tickets.
Can’t you see? Why I bought Senioritis.
Study groups and late nights. Typing and thinking,
There were times I must admit I forgot Senioritis.
Skipping class, detention hours, and missing homework,
“I’ve got ahold of Shirsha and William,” thought Senioritis.

For these last couple of weeks of classes, seniors were left with a difficult task: to slack off as much as possible while skirting college acceptance rescissions. Best of luck, Class of 2018. You can do it.